Ekoh: Save Yourself

i know you think you know me, but you don’t know where i’ve been
I’m a mess, whats happiness when you just f*** it up again?
I might lose my way
I might not come back
I know you try to stay to help
But go and save yourself

This ain’t a way to be livin I get it.
Didn’t know bad it was until you actually said it
Breakin down but tellin everyone I’m fine, I know I promised I would talk before I crossed that line again but didn’t.
I guess thats just the way my head works
Open up another couple scars before you mend yours,
I dont learn from watching others crash i gotta wreck first
Cuz I dont think that love is really love until you get hurt
Yea
And i know what you think
Said its hard to love me when i dont love myself and im on the brink.
Of trading in this sobriety for a f*** drink
And I don’t wanna talk about it till we’re bout to to sink
yea
Maybe i just need a day off,
Maybe i’m just more f*** comfortable in the chaos
You say you love me so you stay on
Invested all your time and wonder when it’s gonna payoff, huh?

So afraid of the failure that now i'm barely livin
Spent a lifetime of working with nothin left to give it
Lookin back at the things we been through and feel i miss it
I been running forever I don’t know how you didn’t
When you’re sitting right next to me, don’t know where i go
I’m in my head with these songs and pick apart every note
These insecurities killing me but i never show
The things i’m thinking are probably worse than you’ll ever know
yea
We been feeling like we can’t move
Same house, same walls, but a different view
Spending time avoiding this inconvenient truth
I got some problems and I’m sick of trying to blame you
Cuz i feel,
Like i been
On my own
In my head
The light goes,
And I see
You fall when standing beside me

And every night i lie awake, tryin to fight but everyday i'm feeling less
feeling less like me..
Still waiting for me to open up
She aint cheating, just fantasizing bout who i was
Fell in love with this image that i portray but know it aint a lie,
Its who i want to be at the end of the day
I know the feelings and the thoughts will keep me down
Depression & anxiety, hanging inside the clouds
No matter where i go they keep following me around
And you think that one day i can make it out