Joe Budden: Pray For Me

Look, I woke up without a heart beat
But I remember we was just in the car deep
Was at a light and got approached by a car thief
He pulled out but didn't ask for no car keys
A loud noise without a voice but I'm tryna scream out shit is not fair
I can't tell you where I'm at or how I got here
Surrounded by all white maybe its just cloudy
Escorted by two men who knew everything about me
Both of them so strong kept saying hold on
Feel like my souls gone naked no clothes on
I know this can't be my fate I scream WAIT!
as they drop me infront of a gate
They left no trace...
I can see my every breath like a cold day
Stood before a man with no face
he said to me...
Please don't make this any harder...
WHO THE FUCK IS YOU?
My child I'm your father...
I only got one dad!
Is that a fact to you? He left you when you was young I brought him back to you
Your real close to heaven, few get to step in
now tell me what you've done to deserve to be let in?
Look I'm far from a christian Not big on religion
But aint done too much wrong my entire time living
Never killed never tried too tho I been lied to
Was once suicidal never read the bible
I always been a care taker tried to nurse people
At times it back fired hurt people hurt people
Plus I never use your name in vain
But you should know everything I'm being asked to explain
I know you stole from your mothers purse
You can't count that, that was way back when!
Its still a sin
But I was ten!
You robbed people, stole
Yeah and YOU made me see jail!
but I also seen you lay your hands on a female
sold drugs to parents none of that was needed
abandenned your child, on every girl you cheated
Done wrong to people that only want the best for you
Any time you thought you were alone I was next to you
When it came to baby moms GOD you gave me the worse one!
but that was your second child Joe you shouldn't killed the first one
I aint have a job aint have a pot to piss in
Look I gave you a gift and you made the wrong decision
Held onto resentments even in doing business
I lead by example, I teach forgiveness your entry can not be Gur-an-teed
not when you live with anger, envy, greed
pride, sloth, lust even gluttony
everything you shouldn't if you woulda joined my company
Look I'm only human I aint perfect.
That I understand. When I take you out a jam
you don't even think to worship, and when you do...
you never talk about what you can do for me its what I can do for you?
I blessed you with health, family and wealth
with all the blessings you received you still always want help
Yeah theres been times in my life I needed help to make money
But why everything I love you manage to take from me?
Yet you stand there an question a nigga that tries hard
and finds a way when you keep dealing them FUCKED up cards!
You make mistakes like ME far as I can see
I think its a mockery whenever rich niggas win the lottery
Gave us Busch twice God I hate to be rude
But you let skinny niggas starve give obese niggas food
THE NERVE of you telling me I don't deserve to stay here
When you gave us drugs and GUNS you put AIDS here!
Take a look at you, your actions are cold hearted
The harsh shit is you bring babies in the world retarded
I know most my actions put me in a cell
But how you mad at me when you put me in the hell
See my child you need gratitude, maybe just a sample
I never give a person anything they cant handle
Don't tell me about everything you had to go through
there's reasons for my actions even if I never showed you
Kept trying with you all you did was hurt me
still gave you chances to prove that you was worthy
and so I sat with you on a train I asked you for change
you kept calling me names. Prolly didnt notice
I was the store clerk, you put the gun to me get money for more work
my child I know you have it in you to indeed stop
this is not your final calling just a brief stop
Hope you heed my words and understand
so when I see you back you should be a better man
look at life different the next time we see each other
there be no need for talk whenever we meet each other